All these marriage blogs are giving me a headache

Is anyone else with me? Since when did 20-somethings become marriage experts?

WISDOM COMES WITH AGE AND EXPERIENCE!

...none of which do I have in any sort of excess. If I have presumed myself to be more knowledgeable on this subject than I actually am, please accept my sincerest apology. But seriously, all these 23, 24, and 25 reasons for blah blah blah sure sound cool and maybe make us feel good when we read them, and then we want to give our computer screen a high-five and make sure all of our facebook friends read them too, especially #17! And, okay, maybe some of the articles in question (and by some I mean there's only one, that I've read) are well thought-out and/or humble, but it makes me so tired to read other kids' opinions being asserted as truths, or American youths' limited, narrow-scoped arguments posing as widely-accepted, highly-followed, generously-reposted "sound advice" that everyone should take.

Giving. Me. A. Migraine.

Here's a quick background, reference list for you:

1) I AM 24 and I DO fall under the aforementioned categories of "kids" and "American youths", i.e. I'm a "millennial" (another headache-inducing pop culture term for another day's discussion). I realize I'm bemoaning marriage blogs as I write one, and maybe I'm hypocritical for writing about younguns as a youngun, but I'm also saying that I know very little, and what I am proposing, I've learned from people much older, smarter, wiser, etc., than I am.

2) I am married and still in the honeymoon phase, i.e. we run grocery errands together 90% of the time and love to hold hands. Which leads me to...

3) I am highly inexperienced when it comes to marriage.

4) I haven't had many hardships in my life, thanks in part to my baby-boomer parents who worked their behinds off to make life comfortable for us, the millennial children who feel entitled and want for nothing. (Of course I realize I am over-generalizing the generational stereotypes, but I'm just trying to fit in with everyone else.)

5) I am working on my Masters and will likely continue to further my education for several years to come, which I guess means I surprisingly still have ambition, even though I've got the ole ball-and-chain.

6) I've traveled to 13 countries, lived abroad in Spain, kissed a stranger (oops!), been in a band or two, and been more selfish than a person should ever be. I have experienced Fallas in Spain, felt rain in Venezuela, waded through sewage in Haiti, and witnessed Salat in Morocco. I haven't "copped out" or "missed out" according to millennial standards. This does NOT make me cool or better than anybody else. It just means I was born into a middle-class family in America who can afford to send me places, and I happened to decide that I wanted to travel. This numerical point is not an attempt to toot my own little kazoo, I promise. And if you've never done a single one of these things, I'm not going to judge you. I'm trying to say that I don't fit the stereotype of a young, married Mrs., that I've done some things on some people's lists, and guess what? These experiences that we "owe ourselves" (see entitlement) DON'T FULFILL, and in itself, neither does marriage.

Here's the bottom line (and this is coming from the Bible and 50-year experts, NOT me): marriage is hard and refining like fire, requires sacrifice from both parties, and is not for everyone. It demands 100% commitment and dedication and is ridiculously worth it - so I hear, believe, and hope. Whether you get married at 23 or 53, these things are the same.

This is my opinion, and it could be wrong - have I mentioned that I'm 24 and still VERY inexperienced in LIFE? Marriages don't fail because people marry young. I do think often times that can play a role; however, ULTIMATELY, and again, this is my opinion, more often than not marriages fail because one or both people are expecting marriage to make them happy. This is NOT the purpose of marriage. This can happen at age 24 after 7 months of marriage, or at age 74 after 50 years of marriage. If at any point, marriage becomes about self-gratification - if it goes from self-sacrificing to self-serving - it's destined for failure. Simple as that.

Unfortunately, we live in a country and an era where our existence is all about us. "Do what makes you happy." "Find yourself." "Carpe Diem." And in these modern times, our catchphrases are being applied to marriage, too. That's a problem.

I guess the point I'm trying to drive home is this: entitlement and selfishness go hand-in-hand and tell us that we should do what makes us happy, and when we aren't happy, we shouldn't do it (which is why monogamy and selfishness are antithetical). You aren't ready for marriage after you've made yourself happy, or learned to love yourself, or traveled to 13 or 75 countries, or completed all of your school, or explored every religion. It's that exact mentality of self-gratification and experiment-until-you-find-what-you-like (at-this-exact-moment-in-time) that ultimately sets a marriage up for failure. When we base preparedness on general factors of selfishness, we are really preparing to become unhappy and move on at some point in the future.

I'm not even sure anyone is ever really ready for marriage, unless maybe you've done it before. I'd say you're on your way when you can a) realize that it is HARD, b) be willing to put someone else's needs before your own, and c) stick to a commitment, even when the going gets tough or it doesn't make you feel good. For some people, that's at 16; for others, it's at 30; for others, it's at 50. Even then, some people are total pros at selflessness and still aren't married. Some are completely selfish and have been married for 50 years. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a tried-and-true formula for you to plug in your stats to see if it's the "right" time for you to get married. I know that God has blessed me with a man who loves Him more than me, is very selfless, and is willing to work at our marriage for the rest of his life, and God gave him to me at the ripe age of 23. I then talked to a lot of people, read a lot of books, and most importantly, trusted in the Lord, and we got married. Maybe in 60 years I'll be able to tell you if I think I missed out because I married young, or if traveling some really made me more prepared, or if by the grace of God alone, we somehow made it through.

I also think we should STOP comparing our lives to the lives of others. This nasty side effect of selfishness is called discontentment. We're never quite happy with what we have, and often times, that can lead to haters hating on what other people do have. After all, didn't the first article get started because the author was questioning her status as compared to that of her facebook friends? I have a friend who got married at 20 and now stays home with her 10-month-old baby, a friend who, at 29, is divorced and in the healthiest place she's ever been in her life, and another friend who is 40, not married, and the most mature and caring person you'll ever meet. Marriage doesn't make someone, or his/her life, better or worse - just different. Nobody's story is like anyone else's, and whether we like it or not, each of our stories is just a small blip in history.

So c'mon, millennials... let's rally to get over ourselves and our somehow inherent desire to serve ourselves. Let's stop judging our lives or the lives of others based on some fabricated criteria that have no real value. Let's start thinking bigger thoughts, ones that go beyond the simpleton idea that we should do/have/get whatever we want. I think if we can realize that making ourselves happy isn't the most important thing in life, we might just have a chance at truly successful lives, and marriages, again, beginning at any age.

leigh is not a boy

Leigh asked me to guest post on her blog and gave me free reign on the topic. (I think she stepped out in faith.) I decided to write about a few of the things I’ve learned in 3ish months:

1.  Leigh is not Mario.

2.  Leigh is not Brett.

3.  Leigh is not Justin.

In case you didn’t know, those guys were my ol’ ladies (roommates) while we were in the Texas A&M Corps of Cadets.  There is a certain bond you form with another guy when living in a sparsely furnished dorm room… those bonds include never wearing a shirt, brushing your teeth elbow to elbow and falling asleep to the sound of another man snoring in the bunk right below you. 

Some of these bonds translated nicely to life with Leigh.  I still rarely wear a shirt; we still share a sink and sometimes Leigh snores (although in a much cuter and softer way than Mario).  The biggest difference though, comes in how we handle conflict.  I don’t just mean when we are upset or frustrated with each other; I mean conflict in general: whether that is mad, sad, frustrated, confused, or hurt.

The way I (and most guys, I think) process things is a very straight forward procedure.  For example, Mario might come in from class and say, “I got a bad test grade,” to which I would reply, “Sorry man” and go back to watching Sports Center.  And it would be fine.  He would start watching as well and totally stop worrying about the test.  Once he got it off his chest he was over it.  In fact, I think that sometimes guys just forget about whatever the conflict was anyway.

As you can imagine, this approach doesn’t work with Leigh.  That is not earth shattering I’m sure, but it has taken me awhile (ongoing still) to learn how she processes things.  I am grateful that even though she might be upset or sad or frustrated, Leigh continues to be patient with me as I learn how to relate with her heart better.  Leigh’s heart is delicate, and it is taking time for me to learn how to protect and cherish it correctly.  It is just a totally different ballgame than what I have been doing for the past four years of my life. 

There is nothing that I have experienced (other than God’s grace) that is as powerful as Leigh’s love, affection, encouragement and support.  As we continue to grow together, this is only getting stronger and stronger.  I am excited to see where the Lord takes us and what He uses us for.  I thank Him every day for blessing me with a creation as amazing as my wife Leigh.  Maybe she does process things differently than the guys.  But you know what, it's worth continuing to learn how to speak to her heart. We balance each other out and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I know that this post wasn’t as long as the ones that Leigh usually posts, but I’m honored that she asked me to share with y’all.  I hope that I can post again in the future.

GW

there is no dress rehearsal

Before I get into today's post, I want to first mention a few things about my last post. I recently had a wonderful conversation with a very dear friend of mine who has a different perspective on the idea of soul mates. I believe that we make a choice concerning who we marry, and the biggest point I wanted to make in last week's post is that once we make that choice, we must continue to make choices to love and nurture that relationship. At that point, you're in (and what a blessing to be in a wholly committed relationship that gives grace to flaws and says, "I'm in it for the long haul, no matter what"!) There's no reason to get into this destructive mindset of, "Oh, I'm just not in love anymore - I think I found my true soulmate." Attraction to someone outside of marriage is purely emotional, because one need or another is not being currently met by the spouse - not because the stars aligned and brought you together with your true other half. Once married, you are made one. I still absolutely believe in God's sovereignty and am not saying that everything in our lives is 100% reliant on us. I know that the only thing good about me is God. But I do believe that ultimately, the choice is ours. And God is sovereign.

My friend made a great point, however, and I think it's important to hear all sides of a conversation, so I'm going to share, as accurately as I can, what she shared with me. She does believe that God created us with our significant others in mind, and that by his sovereignty, we meet and marry. She shared that in Jewish tradition, it is believed that God made two people one before birth, then separated them and placed them in their mothers' wombs. The choice is still ours (after all, God gave us free will), and sometimes we marry someone who isn't exactly who God intended for us. God still perfects the imperfections of our mistakes, but it isn't his perfect, original will for us. Also, I mentioned in my previous post that the Greek word for romantic love is not in the Bible (New Testament). That is true, but she also pointed out that in Song of Solomon and other books of the Prophets (Old Testament), the Hebrew word for romantic, intimate love does appear, or is depicted, although it is rare.

All of this to say, don't blindly take what I say, or someone else says, or your preacher says, or your Bible study leader says, as the indisputable truth. GOD is truth. Pray, ask him to reveal things to you through his word, dialogue about these things. I would love to talk to anyone who wants to have a discussion about this, but I would encourage everyone to go to the Lord first.

Moving on...

I want to talk a little bit about a mistake I made as I "prepared for marriage."

The day before I left kamp last summer, Garrett and I said "I love you." He also told me he knew he was going to marry me, and I told him I knew the same thing. From that point on, the excitement rarely went below a 7 on the Richter scale. There were so many things to plan and prepare for, it was full steam ahead 24/7.

We quickly bought lots of Christian marital advice books and were given many more. We read and talked about everything we could think of, from household chores to how to punish our hypothetical kids to budgeting to intimacy (although we, like "good Christians", tried not to get too deep in our discussions until much closer to the wedding day, as to not cause each other to stumble). We did premarital counseling with our pastor and answered hard questions. It was never a challenge for us to talk about anything - we began early on to get all of the big things covered.

And yet, there isn't much that you can do to truly prepare you for something you've never done. Take riding a bike. When you see other people doing it, it doesn't seem so hard. But no matter how much you've read about riding a bike, how many instruction manuals you've perused, how many YouTube videos you've seen or conferences you've attended, if you've never ridden a bike before, you're almost certain to fall, at least once.

And so it is with marriage. I felt completely prepared, thought I had it down, and never expected to run into some of the emotions I've experienced since our wedding day. The fact of the matter is, you could know, with the most extensive head knowledge, all there is to know about being married, but when it comes time to do it, you're just a newbie.

You see, I was so focused on knowing all the right things, and saying all the perfect, wifely things to say, that somewhere along the way, I stopped preparing my heart as well. I was too busy filling my head with facts and "wisdom". And all this head knowledge was great to have, but in the nitty gritty of marriage, it doesn't compare to having a heart primed and ready to love as hard as possible, and then love some more.

I'll come back to this thought, but I also want to mention something that was tough for me. From  the moment of engagement to wedding day, there's always something to do. Meet with the caterer, register at BB&B, make a guest list, attend a party, talk to my mom 4 times a day... it never stops. Then the wedding weekend comes and you have literally every person you love in one place at one time, and you're getting married to THE love of your life. But what about after that?

Although I was very cautious to not get too focused on the wedding day and fail to prepare for all the days after that, it was still quite a change for me. It's fun when life takes you from 0 to 60 in 3 sec flat... but what about the other way around? For me, with school ending, wedding planning ending, job ending... and "easing" into married life, it was like 60 to 0. In no time. PLEASE don't hear me say that being married to Garrett is not fun and exciting - it absolutely is. I have more fun with him than anyone else. It was just a change of pace I didn't anticipate, and I was not prepared to have that adjustment to make.

So, for the sake of simplicity, let me make a list.

1. Prepare your hearts, not simply your minds.
How do you do this? Pray, pray, pray, pray, and pray some more. I was relying on myself to prepare my mind, but I didn't rely on God to prepare my heart, like I should have. I'm not saying that if you do this, everything will be perfect. Marriage is intended to be a sanctifying tool in our lives, so we will have growing pains. But the more you pray for your heart, your spouse's heart, and your marriage, the more ready your heart will be to take on this new challenge. You'll still fall - just like on a bike - but you'll get up faster.

2. Recognize the imminent change of pace.
The hardest thing about the screeching halt of life as I knew it was that it came as a total surprise to me. It's normal, in most cases, for things to slow down quite a bit. Just know that up front. Don't be caught off guard like I was!

God is using marriage more than anything else in my life at this moment in time to teach me, refine me, challenge me, and sanctify me. However, I think this idea of being prepared can be applied to so much more than just marriage. When God calls us to do something, we can prepare for it all day long, but it comes down to taking one step at a time and just doing it. The key is to keep God in the very middle of it all. Trust him in each heartbeat, with every breath, and through all the moments that fill up the days, and follow him wherever he leads you.

God, marriage, and the cosmos

I read a very interesting blog a few days ago, and judging by the number of reposts I saw on social media, I'd venture to say I wasn't the only one. This blogger asserted that her husband isn't actually what many people like to refer to their spouses - her soulmate. And I agree with her, to an extent. A couple of years ago, I had a very similar conversation with my college pastor (the same pastor who, just a few short weeks ago, married Garrett and me) about finding "the perfect husband". I remember being almost shocked when Stew shared that God doesn't necessarily have one person picked out especially for me, that ultimately who I marry is a choice I make, and I could have a long and happy marriage with one of a number of people.

That threw me! Didn't Disney movies always tell me that "one day my prince will come" and it will be "a whole new world" when I meet him and I'll think to myself "so this is love" and when he finally decides to "kiss the girl" there may or may not be fireworks?

This is a very poor picture of love and of marriage. It builds up romance as the end all, be all of a relationship. While love can be very romantic, our culture has absolutely over-romanticized marriage. Romantic love, per our culture, is the warm fuzzies of Disney movies. It's the heart-racing, palms-sweating, dizzy-eyed giddiness. But it cannot be sustained. Unfortunately, that's why so many marriages fail. If one goes into marriage with the expectation for a constant, consistent feeling of romance, that expectation will be unmet and will leave that person jaded and wanting more, or worse, totally convinced that he or she married the "wrong person". It's been three months of dating, seven months of engagement, and two months of marriage, and I don't always get giddy over Garrett. My heart doesn't jump out of my chest each and every time he gets home from work and smiles at me. I love being with him, and I love seeing him after any sort of absence. And he does still sweep me off my feet sometimes. But I'm not surviving on romantic love. And I'm sure not banking on romance to carry our marriage through.

I think it's just fine to consider your spouse your soulmate. After all, Garrett is my soul's mate. He's the person I have chosen. But it isn't because all the stars were aligned that fateful day in Golden, Missouri. And although I did grow to love Garrett deeply, I didn't choose to marry him because of that. I chose to marry him because I choose to be in love with him everyday. And when I don't feel in love with him, I love him anyway.

I would like to give credit where credit is due, but I don't remember where I saw this, or when. All I know is that a number of years ago, I read the following, or heard it, and from that instant, it has stuck with me:

You don't fall in love; you fall in holes.

You don't fall out of love; you fall out of trees.

It may sound silly, but it is PROFOUND. Love isn't something that, by some cosmic occurrence, happened to me. I'm not the victim of Cupid's arrows. I didn't just happen to fall into it, and I certainly won't just happen to fall out. It is a decision, plain and simple.

God is my true Spirit-mate. God completes me. He made me for himself, was the first one to love me, and is the only one who has, can, and will love me perfectly. And since the day I decided to follow him, the ultimate purpose of my life, the one goal that supersedes all others, is to look less like me and more like him everyday. While knitting my heart to him is the most important thing in my life, I believe that marriage is second. It is the second most important relationship in my life, and more than any other relationship, it inherently, by its nature, has the power to show Christ to an unbelieving world. God didn't necessarily plan for me to marry Garrett (although I believe in his omniscience). God's plan includes me glorifying him with my life, and thus my marriage. It was God's plan that, should I choose to marry (and again, he knew I would), that my marriage would preach the gospel.

So what makes a marriage work if I'm not bound to my husband by the cosmic threads of the universe, or more, if God didn't create us with each other in mind and his power alone keeps us together?

More than just a simple decision to continue loving (which I'm sure veterans of marriage can tell you is definitely not as easy as it sounds), I believe that marriage is about willingness to meet one another's deepest needs. Garrett and I are reading a book entitled His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley. In his book, he writes the following:

We think the dynamics of a good marriage depend on some mysterious blend of the "right" people. Or if a marriage turns out badly, we call the two people "wrong" for each other. While it's true that two inherently incompatible people might marry, it's unusual. More frequently, marital breakups occur when one or both partners lack the skills or awareness to meet each other's emotional needs. More often than not, being right or wrong for someone depends not on some mysterious compatibility quotient, but on how willing and able you are to meet that someone's needs.

Seems pretty unromantic, right? But God's promises don't include a lifetime of romance. After all, the Greek word for romantic love doesn't even appear in the Bible. That doesn't mean we'll never have it; it simply means our joy is not dependent upon it, and neither is the success of our marriages.

If we rely on the feelings of love to sustain love, we will be sorely disappointed. If we expect that God will bring along the right person who is a perfect blend of all the happy things we enjoy and is void of all the habits we abhor, we will be sorely disappointed. But if we recognize that marriage is an opportunity to choose to love like Christ loves, to decide to sacrifice like Christ sacrificed, and to allow ourselves to be made more like him, I bet there will be a revolution in the way marriages function. If we are more committed to serving our spouses and meeting their needs and less demanding that we are served and our needs met, maybe marriage will become less of a fast food menu, where you try one thing and if it doesn't work, order differently next time, and more of a lifelong classroom in which we learn, grow, and change. Who knows - maybe it could happen. Like I said in my last post,  I don't know much, but I sure hope for a lot.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

-Eph 3:20-21

a real life look at marriage, two months in

Marriage.

It's great. I mean, really great. Being with my best friend (no more long distance!) everyday is incredible. And, since it's the newest thing in my life, it makes sense for me to write about it.

Garrett and I are 61 days married. Sometimes that feels like a long time - like I can hardly remember what it was like when we weren't husband and wife. I look back at pictures from March, April, and early May (we wed on May 18), and they feel like distant memories. Isn't that STRANGE? It feels strange to me. Some moments I find myself almost pinching my arm, thinking, "Can this be real?! I'm married!" After all, I went from a one person unit to a two person family in the span of a 30 minute ceremony. Other times, I find myself mourning my singleness. That probably sounds weird from a newlywed, so I'll elaborate. I'm not unhappy that I'm no longer single. I married the love of my life, God ordained our union, and we are one, body and soul - WOW! However, I sometimes miss just hanging out with my girlfriends, or going on spur-of-the-moment road trips, or staying up late, or coming home and chatting with my roomies. Garrett can chat, but there's just something different about deep emotional talks with girls, and "deep emotional" talks with boys :)

A lot of people have asked me, "How's married life?!" I think the answer they want to hear is, "It's AMAZING! ABSOLUTELY BLISSFUL!" And while there are moments that I feel that way, the truth is, more often than not, I don't. The real answer, the one you don't hear very often, although I'd venture to say many newlyweds have felt this at some moment in time, is, "It's a hard, challenging, frustrating, testing, what-have-I-gotten-myself-into kind of relationship, but absolutely worth it." Can I get an amen??

I'm not pretending to be a relationship or marriage expert - quite the contrary! I'm a novice. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm only 2 months in! However, I like to learn, and do so as quickly as I can, so after 8 weeks and 5 days, this is a snapshot of a few things I have learned that I really wish someone had told me:

1. You still need same-gender time.

I knew I would still spend time with my girlfriends, you know, just being girls. What I didn't realize was that I would NEED this time. Part of me figured since Garrett made me so happy before we were married, when we only saw each other once a month or so, I wouldn't crave time with anyone else. After all, he's my spouse, right? My soulmate? So shouldn't I be completely content being with him and only him, forever? Nope. When I first started feeling this, I thought I was broken. But thankfully, the Lord soothed my anxieties and reminded me that He's the only one, in and of himself, that can bring me satisfaction. He created me to be VERY relational, thriving on time with people. Therefore, limiting myself to one person, albeit my husband and closest human companion, is still not how he made me to function.

2. Your life is pretty much the same (except it isn't).
Before I knew that I was going to marry Garrett, I always imagined marriage as this fuzzy thing that would happen sometime in the future, and I would have it all together, and we would wake up laughing in the morning, cling our coffee cups at breakfast with a sparkle in our teeth, and cook a gourmet dinner together every night, with wine and roses and fancy clothes. Reality check. When morning comes, I still want to hit the snooze button for the seventh time, breakfast may or may not come with a side of stress (depending on the day's responsibilities), and while dinner might be tasty, there's always a pile of dishes to be washed afterwards. Life doesn't magically become perfect when you get married. The same mess that was there before is still there - except now, it's doubled. Now instead of the dishes once a week, we do them every other day. And oh, the laundry! No, life carries on as normal, and now I have someone else's needs to be concerned with. It's no longer just about me. Now, my mess is his mess, and vice versa. And for this thing to work, his needs must be more important to me than mine. It's a difficult balance to master - I'm hoping I get there someday.

3. Your sex life is not like the movies.

Yes, I'm going to write about sex on my blog's maiden voyage. Nobody said this to me before, though, and I wish someone had. So I'm talking about it. No, sex is not like the movies. And sure, I'd heard that, but nobody told me HOW it isn't like the movies, so I was still thrown for a loop. Most everything I thought about being intimate was not quite right. Your clothes don't magically fall off. You aren't perfectly under the covers. And chances are, if you're a virgin when you marry, like I was, it won't be seamless and easy. There's no need for a lot of detail, but let's just say it took me a while to get the hang of. And that's okay! It's all new and still very exciting. I am SO glad that I waited to be intimate with only my husband.

Along those same lines...

4. Marriage is not just about having sex.
I think it's natural for most people who save themselves for marriage to believe (consciously or subconsciously) that marriage looks like 24/7 physical intimacy. But that's just not true. Maybe there are some couples who are more like rabbits than humans, but for us, it's not the case. Although this is the part of our relationship that has changed most drastically (from not doing to doing) it is not the focal point of our marriage. I thought it would be. After all, it's one of the hotter topics in the days and weeks leading up to the wedding, especially among friends who also saved or are saving themselves. And while it's absolutely wonderful, it's not everything.

5. You MUST have individual time with the Lord.
This is perhaps the most critical point I'm going to make. Going into marriage, I had this idea that each morning, as a couple, we would devote our first fruits of the day to God together and pray together. I thought in doing so, we would grow closer to the Lord than ever before. We've done that, fairly consistently so far, but after a few weeks my cup began to feel dry. I felt distant from the Lord, not closer, and I couldn't figure out why. I noticed that Satan began attacking me, and hard, in areas where he really loves to get in my ear. And yet, through the counsel of wise friends, God showed me that he still wants ME, not just US. He wants to be alone with me, as often as I will offer my time to him. And doing that has made all the difference in the world. I find that now, I understand even more the greatness of the love God has for me, just by experiencing marriage. The more time I spend faithfully with God, allowing him to love me and teach me and change me, the better I am at being a wife to Garrett. I am excited to see how, as my marriage to Garrett grows and matures, my relationship with my Father and Creator will be deepened and strengthened, and vice versa.

So that's it. After such a short time, and such little experience, God has been so good and so faithful to teach me things I didn't know before, to show me how to navigate through such unfamiliar territory. Maybe some of you have experienced, or are experiencing, similar moments or revelations. There are so many things that I still don't know, and even more that I don't even know that I don't know. Of a few things I'm certain: God loves me and I am his, and Garrett loves me and we are God's.